Success....Redefined

The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.
     Dalai Lama 

Success is valued very highly in our culture. We ask ourselves the question often, “what exactly is success and what does it mean?” Often success is defined by worldly achievement (i.e. financial gain, education, power, status, or certain kinds of material possessions).

We have a friend who has a relative who has achieved great ‘success’ by the world’s standards. He has a nice house, an income of several million dollars a year, a prestigious profession as a corporate lawyer; but, at times he has shown a lack of grace about his position in life verses our friend’s. Our friend, on the other hand, is self-employed in a profession that doesn’t pay much, and is struggling to pay his bills. At times, in their interaction together at family gatherings, the corporate lawyer has made our friend feel less than worthy as a husband, a father, and a man because our friend struggles to provide financially for his family. His words have been cutting, and have wounded our friend to his very core. As a man, there isn’t anything more disheartening than having someone else question your sense of self-worth.

But our friend, as the Dalai Lama speaks of, is a healer, a restorer, a storyteller, a peacemaker and a lover. He is an honorable father, a loyal husband, and a talented artist who offers up his gifts for the benefit of others and the enrichment of their souls on a daily basis. Just because the world does not value his services and gifts monetarily in the same way does not mean he is not successful. But because the world does not value it, he has questioned his sense of self-worth.

On a consistent basis, we try to remind our friend, and we remind ourselves, that he is successful just because he is. We remind him that his gifts, his talents, his personality, his character, his, are important and needed and good.

There is nothing inherently wrong with earning a lot of money or having material possessions or being placed in positions of authority, but how we use and achieve them can change everything. If by having those things, it makes us feel as if we are better than others or more important or more worthy than we are, then we are not using those gifts with integrity.

We, like the Dalai Lama, believe success is measured by something other than just the acquiring of material wealth, prosperity, power, and prestige; rather, success can be defined by how much love we give and receive, how much grace we offer, how much peace we bring, how much restoration and healing we provide, and how much the story we tell by our lives, is one that makes the world around us a better place. Because in our minds, everyone has the opportunity to be successful—–to be a transformative presence to those around them– and everyone is successful simply by their being.

Photo by Shane on Unsplash