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Permission to Be Human

Dec 24, 2012

Often it is at our lowest point in life that we learn the most.  We say, “God, this is too much.  Life has disappointed me beyond all belief.” … those low moments are the magical moments.  They are the beginning stages of our journey.

     Melody Beatty

We hear it all the time, from people in problematic and perplexing situations, as they ask for our grace when they express their honest, heartfelt and often low feelings about something that is troubling them –

Forgive me …

… for being weak. 

… for using profanity. 

… for expressing anger. 

… for making a mistake. 

… for feeling sad. 

… for airing my dirty laundry with you. 

… for dumping this all on you. 

… for being scared. 

… for not getting over this sooner.

Our answer to each of these statements is –

You are not weak; you are being human.

The fact is we all have these feelings, and more,  in some way or another and the only way to resolve them is to talk about them and share them with others who will care, who will not judge and who will love us anyway.  We always strive to remind people that they are not alone and that their vulnerability is actually a sign of strength and a path toward healing.

As Melody Beatty also writes – 

Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness.  It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets.  It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to.  It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.

We believe that we all need to share openly and honestly about our feelings because those feelings are real and they are genuine.  And in order to move towards a path of healing, wholeness, restoration, and comfort, we need people who will allow us to share them freely, with grace, without judgment, and with love and acceptance.

Our human tendency is to hide our feelings, to keep them locked up inside, and to act as if they don’t exist or aren’t important.  But in reality, we become more human when we share our burdens with those we can trust and allowing the light of openness to enter our hearts.

You have no idea how many times we have heard, and experienced ourselves, when sharing something that has been weighing on our hearts for the very first time:

You have no idea how good that feels…

…to get that out.

…to get that off my chest.

…to not have to hide this anymore.

…to not pretend as if that didn’t happen.

…to know that I’m not alone in this and that you support me anyways.

…to know that I am loved more especially in my humanness.

Photo by Timo C. Dinger on Unsplash 

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