Loneliness: One of the Greatest of All Diseases

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.

~Mother Teresa  

Both of us know friends who for many years have bottled up deep feelings, wounds, guilt, and pain inside.  They have been afraid to share because they fear being judged–they think to themselves, if she or he only knew where I have been or what I have done they wouldn’t want anything to do with me–so they live in fear.  And because they close off a significant part of themselves to others many of their conversations and their relationships remain surface level.  Yes, they may have a lot of friends and a large social circle, but it is only an act.  

That sense of fear creates a lot of lonely people in the world.  

We think of the husband who doesn’t feel safe enough to share his own baggage with his wife; so many of his dark secrets remain unlocked forever.  Yet, in the meantime, he carries around those burdens with him and therefore he remains desensitized to the rest of his family around him.  Or, we think of young girl who was abused as a child.  For years she has carried around this sense of shame, even though she couldn’t help the situation, and as a result she doesn’t let anyone else in.  She remains closed off and therefore she can’t have any meaningful relationship with the opposite sex.  We think of the young man in his mid-thirties who is trying to remain strong for his family even though he is dealing with a debilitating illness because he can’t show signs of weakness.  Once again, because he doesn’t share his feelings openly and honestly with someone else, he becomes weaker and weighed down by the day. 

These are the stories we have heard or stories like them of people who are lonely–people who are desperately in need of Someone To Tell It To.  We have known so many who have come to us and have begun to share and we see in them a sense of relief when they can unload and unburden themselves.  The need to have at least someone (even if it is only one person) in your life that you can trust it vital to our well-being.  Having someone to tell it to, having someone in your life (even if its only one person) who cares, and having a safe place to share can be life-saving.  We see, behind so many of the conversations that we have, an incredible loneliness in others.  Mother Teresa’s words are so profound because, like her, we believe that there is no greater disease in the world than to have to try to move through this life on your own.

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash