Let It Be

Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heal, that without distance closeness cannot cure.

     Henri Nouwen 

As we listened, the frustration was evident in her voice.   It had been several years, but the pain still hadn’t gone away.  And while it is hard enough that her husband’s death still hurts, what makes it even harder to face are the comments of others who try to make her feel better.  They’re well-meaning; they really are.  But in their desire to soothe her troubled soul, they say things that simply don’t help.  In their discomfort with her discomfort, the comfort they offer is misguided.  They really don’t understand, even when they say they do.  No one can truly understand, because each relationship is unique.  No two are the same.  Ever.  None of us can know – truly know – what it’s really like in someone else’s life.   To say that we understand isn’t true.    

But you still have your children.

What about your job?  Doesn’t that help to make it easier?

You have your hobbies and you can volunteer.  That can fill the void.

Well, yes.  Children, jobs and fulfilling activities can give us joy and comfort and meaning.  All of them can be good; helpful, certainly.  But they do not replace.  They do not substitute.  They do not make the loss go away.  

She wonders,

Why can’t they understand that?

She asks,

Why can’t they just listen to me, just let me share how I feel.  Without offering solutions?  Without sharing well-worn platitudes?   Without trying to force the pain away? 

Why can’t they simply listen compassionately?  Offering few words?  Sharing no judgments?  Not trying to fix it and her? Just allowing her to give voice to her feelings and fears?  Just getting it out and letting it be?

When we find ourselves in times of trouble …

The words begin to play through our minds as we listened to her voice.

As she told of her fears, frustrations, and fervent hopes, in need of nurture and healing.  As she opened up the vulnerable places in her soul, the anxious corners where shadows cast their sinister, murky hues. And out of the shadows came, we hope, gentle replies, compassionate understanding, remembering words of wisdom,

         let it be, let it be…

Sometimes, it all we need to do.

Let it be.

Let it be.

Sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do – step back, give it over.

Let it be …

In someone’s hour of darkness, just …

… let it be.

Let none of us be of the mind that we can do it all, know it all, have it all to offer.  But let us all, simply be with someone until they can come out of the depths of their desperation and despair.  And when their night is cloudy,

maybe this time we can remember these words of wisdom …

… Let it be.

… Let it be.

So that when in their weakness, in their confusion when they feel lost, and  

brokenhearted, we can be reminded …

 … there will be an answer …

But we don’t have to give it.

Maybe in those moments we can …

… let it be.

Just …

… let it be.