It Starts With A Belief

“People ask me all the time, can you give me a list, maybe “the top ten things I need to do to listen well? Honestly, I bristle a bit when asked for a list. It helps to make remembering things easier, I get it. But…good and effective listening does not start and end with what you do. It starts and ends with what you believe. We must believe that everyone is worthy of being listened to. We must believe that everyone has a story to tell. And we must believe that everyone has a need to be heard. When people feel heard so much conflict is avoided, so much tension is diminished, and so much more is understood and clarified. It makes a significant difference.”  

       Listening 2by: A Paradigm Shift for Leaders (That’s When the 

       Magic Happens!) 

Tom Kaden and Michael Gingerich

With every opportunity we get, we share this message about how we view others, over and over again: 

It starts with this … it’s what you believe about others that is the very best and singular lesson to understand and embrace about how to truly listen well. 

And that belief is that everyone is worthy of being listened to. 

Because all of us have something to say and convey to the world around us. We can learn from every singular person.

Our name - Someone To Tell It To - comes from these words by Australian author Miles Franklin:

“Someone To Tell It To is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.”

We believe this to be so true.

We have the incredible privilege every day of listening to people who so deeply want to be heard, to be known, and to be validated.

We all need others to notice us and to know us - our hopes, our dreams, our joys, our fears, and for who we are. We all need at least someone in our lives to see who we are and to validate who we are as persons of value and worth. Believing this, and then listening with intention as an outreach of that belief, is where it all begins.

Someone To Tell It To’s core value and belief is that everyone is worthy of being listened to, worthy of being heard, worthy of being given a voice to share their story, their truth. If we honor the common humanity we all share, offer others an opportunity to have dignity and agency as human beings, and believe that we can learn something from every single person, we will absolutely listen better to them. Without that belief and value, we won’t. We can’t listen well if we don’t believe that the person before us has something to say, to share, to show.

When we believe these things and show that we believe them, others will begin to trust us, feel safer with us, and be more willing to be vulnerable with us because they know they are respected and valued.

Starting from this respectful place will open doors closed between us, dismantle walls built to separate us, and unlock hearts and minds that have created distance between us. 

Someone To Tell It To’s values stand on this foundation.

If we do not believe in one another’s worth and do not value them as just as significant to this world as we ourselves are, we will not listen as closely, as intently, or as well. We may pretend to listen or listen with only one ear, If at all, and we may not notice what is unspoken, what is unsaid. And when we do not notice, we - and they - are missing out on what could be.

Not only do we embrace this value, but we practice it, too. 

In our listening training work for individuals and organizations, we incorporate the Working Genius model into all of our listening training experiences, especially as it relates to the first principle of our six-part training - “Start with a Belief”. This model shows us how every one of us has valuable gifts to share in any type of community, organization, working environment, family group, or relationship. It shows us that no gift - no Genius, and therefore no person - is greater or less than another. It tells us that what we have to offer is of equal value and is necessary for the greater good of the entire community we are in. This model inspires us with the belief that we all have vital gifts to share, give, and use. By recognizing this fact, we are able to see how each person can play a significant role in strengthening the community around us, whatever or whomever they may be.

This model reminds us that it’s not only what we do. It’s also, first, what we believe about one another, that will set the stage for how we listen well to one another - or don’t. 

This means that everyone - including you who are reading this - is Someone. Someone who matters. Someone who has a story to tell. Someone of inherent worth. Someone who deserves to be seen, to be heard, and to be known. Everyone. Including you!

Believing that - and we cannot say it enough - you will automatically begin to become a better listener. It’s inherent to the process of listening well.

And everyone you encounter throughout every moment of your day will begin to become better heard and better known. And that will help to begin to remake this world into the much better place it needs and deserves to be.