It's Not Weakness; It's Just Different

A few weeks ago we attended a seminar with keynote speaker David P. Reinhardt.  Reinhardt’s’ presentation was entitled: Arctic Insights: Learning from the Pack about Leadership and Life!   He has a deep love for Alaskan husky dogs and Alaska itself.  He has traveled in the state extensively and has participated in the classic annual Alaskan sled dog race, the Iditarod.   

 There was one point Reinhardt made during his presentation that resonated with both of us strongly.  He started describing each of the huskies on his team and what his dogs have taught him about life and leadership.  As he spoke about each one by name he listed their most special attributes – such as one’s energy, another’s patience, another’s stamina and another’s sense of direction, for example.  He also listed each of their other individual characteristics – such as one being easily distracted, another aloof, another a bit skittish, and another’s nervousness.   

 When he described each husky he didn’t discuss their strengths and then say “BUT, here are his weaknesses.  Here are her flaws”. Instead, he said “These are his strengths AND these are other aspects of her personality.”  It was subtle. But he spoke volumes with his choice of words.  Reinhardt wasn’t saying that the dogs had their weaknesses.He was saying instead that they simply had unique and different characteristics from one another.  He was saying that each dog was unequaled, that each dog offered distinctive attributes that added something valuable to the team. He was saying that each dog had gifts that were important and that mattered.  

 Reinhardt’s message was this about the dogs AND about us as humans in leadership and life:

• Every individual has pros and cons.
• Your pros and cons aren’t any better (or worse) than anyone else’s … just different.
• Focus on the positive and accept – even embrace – the negatives.
• Some “negatives” can be useful!
• People are a “package deal” … You don’t get to “pick and choose”!
• Don’t let minor differences become major conflicts with other people!
• If two people are totally compatible one of them is useless!

 He concluded – WE ARE ALL FANTASTIC INDIVIDUALS!

Two evenings ago my (Tom’s) wife Sarah was asked to list her greatest attributes and her weaknesses on order to sit on a leadership team at our church. Together we started listing together what her strongest qualities are and she could benefit our community in the best way possible. For example, we shared that she is:

• Steady. Through all of the challenges she has remained consistent, patient, and faithful.  This would be an asset to the leadership team as well as an asset to the church as she patiently waits for God’s leading and direction.
• She is perceptive. She is quiet by nature, but her quiet nature allows her to “take it all in”.  She watches, waits, and sees what others may be missing.  This could be an asset to the team and to the church as she provides insight and discernment where others may be overlooking what God may be trying to say to us. 
• She is positive. When others tend to see what’s wrong with a given situation, she tends to see the situation as an opportunity for growth.   This would be an asset to the team because “when the going gets tough”, she will help the team see the areas in our lives where we can give thanks and praise rather than dwelling on negativity.
• She is gracious. She tries very hard to see others the way God sees them.  Maybe God has grown this quality in her over the past several years as she has worked with patients as an RN that have been overlooked in society.  She tries to see through others flaws, shortcomings, and perceived “weaknesses”, to see them as valuable, worthy, and significant.  This could be an asset to the team and the church as we learn to value everyone based on who they are rather than what they accomplish.

At that point, she was asked to go on to describe her weaknesses. Based on what we had learned from Reinhardt’s message a few days prior, I said that we needed to practice how we nuance our words. Rather than saying that my wife is quiet and THEREFORE doesn’t speak up as much as she should, we suggested that she is quiet which helps her be more perceptive. 

 Every one of us has our strengths, AND those parts of us that make us unique.  Some would call them ‘weaknesses’, but we hope we don’t see them that way.  We are all a package deal.  Those perceived ‘weaknesses’ or ‘oddities’ or ‘shortcomings’ are what make us who we are—and WE ARE ALL FANTASTIC INDIVIDUALS

Photo by Simon Smith on Unsplash