Consolation is a Beautiful Word

I first received the news via text message.  A good friend of mine had suddenly lost a family member.  It happened moments after my son slammed his tiny finger between our waffle iron after breakfast–causing the blood to well up underneath the nail. 

Moments later I opened my inbox, noticing several emails from people who are facing extreme sorrow, a severe illness, depression, loneliness, disappointment, etc.  The list goes on and on and sometimes causes us to wonder why life has to be so hard and so painful?  At times it seems almost incomprehensible and we contemplate if things will ever get better. 

But then another email appears in my inbox.  Words of hope from a spiritual father and a source of comfort for us, the late Henri Nouwen.  The short devotional says the following:

Giving and Receiving Consolation

Consolation is a beautiful word.  (It means “to be” con-) “with the lonely one” (solus). To offer consolation is one of the most important ways to care. Life is so full of pain, sadness, and loneliness that we often wonder what we can do to alleviate the immense suffering we see. We can and must offer consolation. We can and must console the mother who lost her child, the young person with AIDS, the family whose house burned down, the soldier who was wounded, the teenager who contemplates suicide, the old man who wonders why he should stay alive.  To console does not mean to take away the pain but rather to be there and say, “You are not alone, I am with you.  Together we can carry the burden.  Don’t be afraid.  I am here.”  That is consolation.  We all need to give it as well as to receive it.”

 “Wow”, I think to myself.  His words couldn’t be more truthful and uplifting today, speaking directly to the situation and feelings I am experiencing. 

We recently talked with a man whose story is so disheartening and devastating its almost overwhelming to hear.  From early he was abused and lived in fear.  Now he is in the middle of his life and he lives with incredible loss, depression, loneliness, and extreme pain.  He feels utterly defeated and wonders if his life is worth living. 

We were at a loss.  What do you say to someone whose life is so utterly broken? 

But at least we could “console” him, letting him know that he is not alone and that we were with him in his agony and would continue to be.  It was important to him, as it is for all of us, to know that someone else can help us carry the burden. 

Consolation.  What a beautiful word.

Photo by Ricardas Brogys on Unsplash