But You Do Have A Place

We’re still trying to process it all.

It’s going to take some time. But what a joy it will be as we do.

This past month we’ve been immersed in the play, I’m Proud of You, a beautiful true story about the life-changing, life-saving friendship between Texas journalist Tim Madigan (and our dear friend) and American children’s (and adults, too) TV icon Fred (Mister) Rogers, during the past eight years of Mister Rogers’ life. 

Through 12 performances of the play that Someone To Tell It To co-produced with Open Stage, a Harrisburg, Pennsylvania professional theater company, we’ve been deeply touched and impacted by the reaction of the audiences for the play. The story it tells is one of unconditional love, empathy, authentic presence, intentional listening, human dignity, respect, and affirmation. It celebrates the power of human connection. It tells a universal story about how the human spirit can be transformed through relationships in our lives that nurture, uplift, and honor one another’s unique and common personhood. 

Now that the play’s Harrisburg run is finished, we are trying to discern what we do with it from here. We don’t want to let go of it. We believe in its message so much - and the absolute need for the message to be shared wherever possible in the world today - that we feel it needs to continue to have larger audiences, more venues in which to share it, and more people spreading the word about its powerful story. 

So many lines in the play keep running through our minds, and we’ve heard so many stories of how people have been impacted by its message. We’ll certainly be sharing those stories in the weeks and months ahead. But for right now, we want to share some of the lines and sentiments that are uppermost on our minds and hearts as we reflect on the impact I’m Proud of You has been having, especially on us:

Your secrets are safe with me. I like to say that Anything Mentionable is Manageable.

Fred Rogers reassures Tim of this when Tim confides in him that he’s never told anyone what he’s about to tell Fred concerning his life, especially about his childhood as he was growing up. This reassurance from Fred helps Tim to open up, to be vulnerable with Fred, to trust that anything he says will be safe to say and will be held in the deepest and most tender confidence.

I am so humbled and grateful. 

Fred confesses these feelings to Tim in a letter to Tim following Tim’s trust in Fred as a safe person who will hold anything told to him in the most respectful, unconditionally loving, and honoring way possible. Fred deeply values that trust and is deeply thankful to receive that trust from Tim. He is moved profoundly by Tim’s regard that allows Tim to be so unashamed to reveal his most personal and private wound with Fred. 

It’s much easier to love someone when you know their story.

After decades of not feeling as if he ever made his father proud of him, Tim attempts to learn about his father’s childhood, something he had never asked his father about - and something his father had never really shared with Tim before. Upon learning of the heartbreakingly painful environment and experiences his father grew up with, Tim had newly-found grace and healing insights once he understood what his father lived with himself throughout his childhood. It changed Tim’s perspective about his father and made Tim a better father to his own children after that.

All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. 

Fred, upon receiving a lifetime achievement award - and in a number of other speeches during his life - encouraged audiences to think of the people who had helped them to become who they are, who had cared for them, and have wanted the best for them in life. We all have them, at least someone in our lives, who has shown us that we are good, valued, and loved. Fred inspired people to reflect on who those people were - and are. Fred knew that remembering them and being grateful for them would inform our own perspectives about the love we received during our lives. It would change the often negative narratives we might play over and over again inside us. 

And finally …

I’m proud of you.

We all need someone to be proud of us, Fred declared, no matter who we are, how old we are, or what our lot in life is like. When Tim was at one of his lowest points in life - not certain if he could go on living (literally being alive) like he was - Fred very honestly and unconditionally lovingly assured Tim that he was proud of him, and always had been since they met - and always would be proud of him - a declaration and covenant that would forever change Tim’s life in profound and healing ways. 

This story enters into your heart, wraps around it with tender loving arms, and doesn’t easily - if ever - let go. Its warm, compassionate, reassuring embrace leaves you with a beautiful reminder of your worth and your sacred place in the world, especially when you may be doubtful that you have a place or that anyone cares. But you do have a place.

And others care about you and your place, too.