99.9%

When we listen to people, Someone To Tell It To’s compassionate listeners  start with what we as human beings have in common.

We all want to be respected. We all want to be heard. We all want to be appreciated. We all want people in our lives to be proud of us. We all want to be loved.

And …

We all have fears. We all have insecurities. We all have doubts. We all have losses. We all have regrets.

This is where we start. With this understanding. With what we all have in common. There is no better way to listen without judging, without telling people what we think they need to do, and without shaming them for whatever they are feeling and experiencing.  

It is foundational for creating genuine connections between one another.

According to the United States’ National Human Genome Research Institute (NHGRI), all humans are 99.9% genetically identical. 

99.9%!

There are only 0.1% of genetic variations that are responsible for the differences between us - physical traits such as height, intelligence, hair color, eye color, disease susceptibility, and drug responses, for example.

Yet as human beings, we tend to focus on those differences, which lead us to disconnect, criticise, and build barriers between us. 

Our work is to break those barriers down. To remind people that they are not alone. To help them to know that they - and we  - are not so different after all. It’s the way we approach others that enables us to begin to understand and appreciate who we all are and how much stronger we can be as a species and society if only we’d believe in what we all innately share. 

This knowledge and understanding help us to accept the surface differences - and to stand on the fact that the human experience is so much more similar than we can imagine. 

We do not deny the very real differences between us humans that certainly do exist - religious and spiritual, political, and experiential differences that so often are the catalysts for our relational strife and conflict. We know all too well that they are real and they cause immense pain and isolation. Our listening work essentially centers around the 0.1% that makes us all different from one another and keeps us apart. It is the primary cause of our misunderstandings, miscommunications, and misinformed opinions.

Yet, when we can first recognize that everyone has struggles, and that everyone needs grace, empathy, support, kindness, and compassion in our struggles, we will begin to form deeper and more caring connections, knowing that we are all part of the same human family. 

We are all 99.9% the same.

Photo by Braňo on Unsplash